Marxy: Exclusive Thesis Preview

As of today, my thesis looks like this:

I know what you're thinking: you're too wussy to put the whole thing in Webdings?? Here's the deal: there's this one professor at my university who can read Zapf Dingbats like it was Proto-Akkadian, and I'd like him to be one of my graders (he was supposedly spurned at an early age by a well-known entertainment management company - we'll call them "Donny's Dimusho" - and is sure to be sympathetic to my polemic objective academic arguments). One look at this font, and the wonks in the Gakuji Center are sure to send my thesis his way. A bonus perk: if I get the thesis back from my professor and he tells me it's great, I'll know he never got around to reading it. This font choice makes my ANOVA results incomprehensible.