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May 19, 2005
Lance in the Hiz-OUSE!!!
Lance is in the muzafuzzin' HIZ-HOUSE, y'all. Gonna pimp' it up like itz hott.
totally syched that AP American History is behind me (i bet I got a 4, maybe even 5) and Marxy is letting me guest editor his blog. (Don't erase my posts, Marxy!) Gonna keep it kewl, ya'll.
gotta get to skool but before i forget:
TOP REASONZ WHY JAPAN KICKS AND THE US SUCKS
1) anime ALL THE TIME. even on baisc cable.
2) dudes ride the subway to school. (Here in Sh*tsville, Virginia, I gotta pick up like eight freshman in my 1996 Subaru while rich kids like Hunter drive around in tight SUVs with full iPod-integration.)
3) the wi-zeed is totally legal.
4) phat cellphones that play games and watch TV.
5) no O.C. - I hate those girls who all think their summer.
6) no AVRIL LATRINE or ASHLEE PIMPLESON
7) earlier PSP and game release dates (can you believe that sucker Brandon's dad picked one up for him on a biz tripp to Tokyo before they even came out here? w.t.f.)
8) probably no lawns to mow.
9) no more years of BU$H.
10) GODZILLA, baby!
Posted by lance (guest editor) at May 19, 2005 10:27 PM
Comments
sorry my man, I love how excited you are and all, but Weed is SUPER illegal in Japan. Mushrooms and Peyote are kind of legal... but weed is treated much more serously than here.
Posted by: ed zipco at May 20, 2005 4:46 AM
I used to ride the subway to school when I lived in brooklyn, and my Treo 650 can watch tv shows and play games.
Posted by: Anonymous at May 20, 2005 5:58 AM
For the W**D,they sell only kind of grass without the psycho element,this little thinks that make you high,hehehe...But JAPAN still KICKS!
Posted by: Simon at May 20, 2005 7:22 AM
let this post be a lesson to everyone:
NEVER let your 14 year old nephew guest blog on your website.
funny. i thought that was already self-evident.
Posted by: oh god no at May 20, 2005 7:33 AM
I dont mind letting the lil bastard make his thoughts known. its funny, he's 14. how whipcrackingly brilliant were you when you were of the age?
I was dazed by the weed smoke and facinated by fact that tits could be part of my life. a fantastic amazing wonderful part of my life. to be honest I've never looked back. but that was me at fourteen. if this little tot likes to playvideogames all day and envy the subway ride let him. (its an underground bus, kid. it aint that facinating. the cool rich kids in japan have cars too. except their expensive cars car FLY!)
the kid makes a fine young substitute. cut him slack. all this fact checking prob' made him have some kind of heart attack.
you write what you want to write about kid. tell me more reasons that you like this place (you've never seen) is more prefereable than your home and your family and friends.
Posted by: Ed Zipco at May 20, 2005 10:24 AM
there was a cut and paste issue with the last sentence. ignore it.
Posted by: Ed Zipco at May 20, 2005 10:25 AM
Is he fourteen? Most people are about seventeen/eighteen when they take their AP American History exams. So if he is indeed getting a 4/5 on the exam at the age of fourteen, he may very well be a whole hell of a lot more “whipcrackingly brilliant” than the rest of us.
Posted by: joopy at May 20, 2005 10:55 AM
dudes, I'm 16 (turning 17 soon). i totally don't smoke the wizeed, but i'm pro-legalization. it's illegal in Japan?!? i had always thought it was legal. oh well.
Posted by: lance (guest editor) at May 20, 2005 11:17 AM
oh my god, I thought marxy had just had a mental breakdown before reading the post before this one.
Welcome aboard, lance!
Posted by: Ko at May 20, 2005 12:57 PM
Lance, this is how your alter-ego Marxy would refute your thesis:
1)the anime industry overworks and underpays its employees and their creativity is in terminal decline;
2)the train drivers are constantly stressed about being late and might cause another big accident like the one in Kobe;
3)If you can buy it Shibuya it is;
4)Japan has lost its technological edge to Korea and China;
5)but plenty of Yon-sama;
6)but plenty SMAP and Ayumi;
7)even though Marxy doesn't know about it, he has a gut feeling that the game industry suffers with the same problems as the anime industry (see number 1);
8)Tokyo is a concrete jungle with porn magazines everywhere;
9) the LDP is as strong as ever;
10)the Godzilla franchise is over.
May the force be with you, young jedi Lance.
Posted by: dzima at May 20, 2005 9:52 PM
what's LDP?
Posted by: lance (guest editor) at May 20, 2005 10:19 PM
League of Depressed Parisians
Posted by: dzima at May 20, 2005 10:34 PM
The Lands of Depraved Paupers
Posted by: joopy at May 20, 2005 10:37 PM
Lord of Deprived Perverts
Posted by: dzima at May 20, 2005 10:40 PM
Loop-and-Dot Pictograms
Posted by: joopy at May 20, 2005 10:46 PM
Law for Demented Puns
Posted by: dzima at May 20, 2005 10:48 PM
Lovers of Delicious Pomegranates
Posted by: joopy at May 20, 2005 10:50 PM
Lawrence of Dorky Pontifices
Posted by: dzima at May 20, 2005 10:54 PM
Ligatures and Double Primes
Posted by: joopy at May 20, 2005 10:56 PM
Lowing the Deeds of Prog
(Robert, you're officially invited to join this)
Posted by: dzima at May 20, 2005 11:00 PM
Lumps, Dumps, and Pumps
Posted by: joopy at May 20, 2005 11:01 PM
Lurkers Demonise Pop
Posted by: dzima at May 20, 2005 11:04 PM
Losers Don't Party
Posted by: joopy at May 20, 2005 11:06 PM
LOL Depends on Peace
Posted by: dzima at May 20, 2005 11:13 PM
The Louvre Digs Paintings
Posted by: joopy at May 20, 2005 11:15 PM
Liberty, Democracy and... Parrilladas
Posted by: dzima at May 20, 2005 11:19 PM
Likeable Domestic Pumpernickel
Posted by: joopy at May 20, 2005 11:22 PM
Lisping the Domain Particles
Posted by: dzima at May 20, 2005 11:31 PM
Lysistrata Dominates Peloponnese
Posted by: joopy at May 20, 2005 11:37 PM
Larks Dunk in Puddleofmud
Posted by: dzima at May 20, 2005 11:39 PM
Life Death & Pumpkins
Posted by: joopy at May 20, 2005 11:44 PM
Lingering Doves in Parramatta
Posted by: dzima at May 20, 2005 11:56 PM
Loose Doorknobs in Prague
Posted by: joopy at May 21, 2005 12:00 AM
Liars Drooling in Perth
Posted by: dzima at May 21, 2005 12:04 AM
Laudably Desecrated Pupils
Posted by: joopy at May 21, 2005 12:05 AM
Laurels of Disassembled Parcels
Posted by: dzima at May 21, 2005 12:08 AM
Liturgically Diminished Priests
Posted by: joopy at May 21, 2005 12:12 AM
LeWitt Duchamp Pipilotti
Posted by: dzima at May 21, 2005 12:20 AM
Lackadaisical Dachshund Puppies
Posted by: joopy at May 21, 2005 12:22 AM
Lodger Debut Presence
Posted by: dzima at May 21, 2005 12:31 AM
Lips Discreetly Pursed
Posted by: joopy at May 21, 2005 12:33 AM
sLowly Down sleePy
Posted by: dzima at May 21, 2005 12:36 AM
Liver Damage Paranoia
Posted by: joopy at May 21, 2005 12:37 AM
you guys are so 'you got message' ne ;P
Posted by: porandojin at May 21, 2005 12:39 AM
What does it mean to be 'you got message'?
Posted by: joopy at May 21, 2005 12:42 AM
like in this film with meg ryan and some guy ... you know- internet flirt and stuff ;]
Posted by: porandojin at May 21, 2005 1:23 AM
Whenever you see a nine-fingered yakuza standing on a Kabukicho street corner just remember to "LDP".
"Look, don't point."
The same goes for when you see a group of dentists making questionable political contributions.
Posted by: mmm at May 21, 2005 4:00 AM
Was "you've got message" the East European title of the film?
Posted by: marxy at May 21, 2005 11:58 AM