Come on now... you know that astonishment on Japanese television is utterly meaningless. Regular prime-time panel style shows are just a hairs breadth from commenting on how fascinating it is that Japanese people can speak Japanese and use chopsticks.
The minimizing of foreign women is no more virulent than the minimizing of Japanese women... I think I saw some of the show, and I've got to say, for all the demeaning language presuppositions you saw, these foreign women were treated with 10 times the respect that a Japanese woman on any network but NHK would receive.

In addition to the unusual amount of respect given (for Japanese TV), this show, by highlighting the pairings where Japanese men are less likely to gain status as the patriarch of the family, and giving forum to international discussion of the role of male heads of household in Japan, probably does more harm than good.

also, I think it's not an insignificant fact that "international marriage" as you and that link outline it is marriage in Japan... not marriage of Japanese citizens. Call me reductive, but the average G-guy, J-gal marriage is motivated at least on some level by the desire of the woman to leave Japan, either in mindset, or very often, physically. (Not that that necessarily would rebalance the numbers)

Regular prime-time panel style shows are just a hairs breadth from commenting on how fascinating it is that Japanese people can speak Japanese and use chopsticks.

I don't think you understand how hard it is to use chopsticks.

oops... that should read "more good that harm"

Memo to that dude with the wacky hair who teaches English on NHK at night: I fucking despise you.

It's interesting that many 1st and 2nd generation immigrants in the UK (rightfully) fully assert themselves as being British, which is on the whole accepted by the rest of the nation - people happily accept them as being fellow Brits and not Pakistanis, Chinese and what not.

How many years (and how many children must they rear?) of married citizenship must someone in Japan serve before they lose the 'foreigner' tag? Or perhaps better, how many generations?

DB: ditto.

Isn't the irrational loathing all gaijin feel for each other (we each want to be "the only one") the secret motif of this blog? That might make a nice Japanese TV show -- gaijin fighting to the death to be "the last one left standing in Japan". You could call it Gaijin Royale.

(By the way, DB, don't trust Ryan's claim to agree with you. I know he secretly plans to slit your throat when you fall asleep.)

I think that's true many gaijin fear that the presence of other foreigners will reduce their 'gaijin power', but I maintain that the need to be the most specialest is not the only factor at work.

Part of it stems from all the obnoxious people that take an interest in Japan to begin with. Awkward fanboys and shrieking anime-lovin' banshees, I'm calling you out. Also a creepy number of guys who are looking for submissive Japanese wives. I mean, I understand that special Asian sparkle some people favor, but the ones I'm talking about are fairly misogynistic. Then you have the goth kids trying way to hard to be strange… all the same sorts people I didn’t like in my Japanese class at home also show up abroad.

That, and one has to work hard at fitting in and making friends and it can be so easy for another gaijin to come along and mess it up by being loud and brash and then suddenly everyone in the kissaten is half-glaring at you like *you* brought them in there. Other gaijin can really fuck up the wa sometimes, you know?

I think those are valid reasons to be suspicious of other gaijin, but come on, that’s inherently bitchy. I'm not saying that foreigners outside the whole foreigner community (don't eikaiwa teachers tend to clump and hang out with each other exclusively?) don't tend to loath one another, but I just think that's terrible.

I found having a good group of foreign friends who were into Japan the same way as you to be invaluable. You need mentors to help you figure out the system at first and to introduce you to the more obscure awesome things to do and then it's your duty to aid the next generation of fun and interesting foreigners. We should network, not reject! Come on, everybody (by which I mean only people who are good and true)!

That's how I felt at least, within my insulated network of other high school exchange students in our small city. How different are they dynamics among college kids studying abroat or ALTs or long term residents? Or even for foreigners in an area like Tokyo where it is much more diverse? Because my experience is limited.

And as far as this blog goes, Marxy might be guarded about the careful life he's constructed, but I don't feel a loathing of other foreigners. Otherwise why would he write all of this in English and not horde it all to himself. I've never met him of course, but I don't really get that vibe here.

I thought we hated the japanese here. Wait til I tell my girlfriend the good news.

Nate: Spot on!

Momus: SU, yer OT AA

lauren: bitchey, yes. network etc? depends. Why should I give anyone any special treatment because of the color of their skin as it were? In the case of the annoying foreigner showing up, I deal with it the same as I did in NYC, I tell em the problem with their behavior and if they cant deal I ask em to leave or I suggest to my friends that we go elsewhere. That doesnt work well with my annoying japanese friends though so I dont do it to them.

Marxy: why even watch TV here? Every time I think to check whats on, I'm always dissapointed.

Referring to all non-Japanese simply as foreigners is as sharp as referring to all non-Western music simply as World Music.

David Byrne weeps for Japan.

I'm not advocating special treatment based on skin color per se, but Japan is designed for Japanese people, so coming in from the outside provides challenges for us all, starting with language issues. It's very hard to show up and hit the ground running. I feel like this "networking" concept is a good one because I benefited so greatly from it. I had people who had gone through the exact same experiences as I was who helped me adjust and learn and figure out how to construct a (temporary) life that, while being so different from back home, was still true to who I was. And in having that I felt obligated to help other a few others who were awesome but too fresh to know the deal. I'm just saying it would be cool if people weren't so stingy with their J-resources and helped each other out. And, you know, you can make some friends that way too. But this inter-gaijin loathing (which is itself special treatment based on skin color) works against that. And I'm never for hanging out with people who suck, nationality aside.

As for confronting strangers in public, unless it's way out of line (I have no problem with loudly taking a chikan to task) it's not really my style, especially in Japan. *shrug*

laren: FWIW I loathe everyone quite equally regardless of color. It is a good idea to help people and people certainly helped me, but it wasnt so much the kindness of strangers. Yes it is very hard to get started here, but success never comes without effort. I'm pretty sure Marxy or Robert or any of the other regulars here whove made a life would say the same.

It is that dificulty to make life work here and the high rate of non serious people I encountered in the work place that lead me to be very selective about who I dealt with. So yeah, hanging out with sucky people is a drag one time and soul. Definitely deal with any good people you can, but what little experiences I've had with "networking" groups have been very low on the signal to noise ratio. None of the people who have helped me out were people from those groups. Your milage may vary.

And I thought the title of this post was a pun on George W.'s handler's name.

der: I have more faith in Marxy than that.

Fair enough. I was in a specific situation where it worked out and while it was sort of idealistic, it's a nicer alternative to foreigners treating each other with hostility, which is a real thing that happens. And it's not meant to replace personal effort, just make it more effective.

I very well might have been lucky with the specific people I came across. I ran into a few fantastic idiots, but for the most part they were pretty boss. Sometimes the stars align and things like that work out, but I'd like to think there are many more like them as well. I know there are, you just can't meet them if everyone is being all standoffish.

And really, people like you and Marxy and other long term residents would stand to directly profit the least from that kind of thing, already being established. I know that. You (generally) don't have to teach every tow-head kid how to bow, just throw a somebody cool bone every now and then. I consider the conversations here to be helpful in the very way I mean so you (you, Marxy, Momus, all the others) are really taking care of that obligations now, by sharing your opinions and stories with the internet, possibly filled with other Japan-oriented people who aren't that experienced yet (like me).

Oh shit! It's like a Neomarxisme sempai-kohai system!

der: Yeah, me too at first.

Alternate title suggestion: "I Wuv You", though that admittedly loses the r/l confusion.

laruen: the sempai-kohai thing has its merits as well as its limits. The young japanese engineer who is seconded to me right now at work as a specialist doesnt even know the basics of the job, but I'm expected to raise him up. I consider it a real plus that he by the nature of that relationship is much more willing to learn than most of the foreign IT guys his age I've met. I know for sure when I was that age pretty much nobody could tell me nothing.

In a way helping a newcomer foreigner is like breaking a horse to saddle except you cant use a high voltage cattle prod on people.

Marxy: I'll have to perform the Neomarxisme Standard JSO test on that show to get an independant opinion ^_^

Looking at the numbers of "foreign" spouses, I have the feeling that those are skewed because of the Japanese attitudes towards citizenship. The top two categories are Korean and Chinese. How many of those have been living in Japan for two, three, four generations, but still considered "foreign"? Hard to say, but from a television aspect, those don't make nearly as interesting TV, if the wife grew up in Yokohama or Kobe.

In the future, what of the Japanese-Brazilians, and other niseis from South America that got invited back in droves at the end of the Bubble? Alberto Fujimori aside, if anything, that might interrupt Japanese notions of "foreigner." For whatever reason, those of Japanese decent that can't speak Japanese seems to confuse a lot of people, since the connection between language and citizenship has never been challenged. With Portuguese speaking Japanese on the one side, and fluent gaikokujin on the other, maybe there will be change.

Maybe.

Looks like we're one step away from another referendum, but why not.

I've been both a high school exchange student and a college study abroad person, and the dynamic is of course a bit different. In high school I was taken care of - all costs were covered, meals were cooked, etc. Contact with other foreigners came from two other exchange students (from Germany and Mexico) and occasional meetings with other exchange students in Osaka. I didn't have much in the way of a mentor, but I did OK with my host families. The other exchange students (mostly Americans and Western Europeans with the occasional Brazilian and Mexican) more or less saw each other as drinking buddies and potential hook-up partners. Not much in the way of loathing, though a lot of us recognized the importance of limiting contact for the benefit of getting something out of the "native" culture.

Then, in college, things were a little different for a few reasons: a) The presence of Asian students; b) A range of age groups and backgrounds; and c) complete independence. The loathing was definitely present for the usual reasons, but again there was a lot of camaraderie as well. I tend to see both sides as pretty valuable, though they usually were not compatible. Also, I never had that "mentor" experience to the extent that Lauren describes, though it's smart to ask people who know about language issues or good restaurants or whatever.

Chris: So you claim to have no desire to *befriend* foreigners because of "the color of their skin", but you have no problem singling them out for a lecture on their behavior if they act out of turn at a Starbucks? Real mature. Regardless of skin color, when you meet a fellow foreigner, isn't there something to be said for a) shared culture; and b) the common experience of being an outsider in Japan? There are certainly people you won't jive with (Lauren's suggestions are pretty good), not to mention people who don't have your best interest at heart, but you sound like such a snob talking like that.

In a way helping a newcomer foreigner is like breaking a horse to saddle except you cant use a high voltage cattle prod on people.

You know, Chris, I'm sure that was exactly what was in the mind of the Japanese man who, on my first trip to Tokyo, took ten minutes out of his day to walk me to the place I was trying to find.

If they aren't singularly searching for Anime or Asian women, I've found other foreigners can be great company.

But so many - oh so many - just seem to be after one of those things.

To me, it really goes to show - many Japanese expatriates simply exist, because they displace personal inadequacies onto their birth-culture, and view Japan as some form of escapist-panacea.

...which, of course, we all know, won't actually fix any of their deficiencies.

many Japanese expatriates simply exist, because they displace personal inadequacies onto their birth-culture, and view Japan as some form of escapist-panacea...which, of course, we all know, won't actually fix any of their deficiencies.

Yes, what they really need to do is displace personal disappointments onto the host culture, and stop being so damned positive about everything.

Adamu: point well taken, I should have been more clear in that I dont bother strangers, thats for people I know. Living anywhere for a while I find that I end up with aquaintances who are at least as abarasive as me if not more so. In essense I dont give someone I know extra credit for the color of their skin. Does that make more sense?

Momus: yeah I see how you could read it that way even though thats completely out of context. Its a work place thing. I'm sure at some point on one of your brief visits to japan you had to sit in a meeting and observed that talking out of turn or offering unexpected opinions is considered gauche. Young (20s lets say) japanese have already been broken in to this whereas same age folks from other places may not quite get it and are often eager to impress everyone around them and end up creating problems by doing so. They are not yet broken in to the ways of things.

In corporate IT this can also be an issue since the same group of young engineers are often quite eager to show off their skills whereas the requirements of the workplace are quite counter to cowboy engineering. It takes time and great effort to make them understand that they are paid to shut up and follow the plan. Do I make myself more clear now?

The top two categories are Korean and Chinese. How many of those have been living in Japan for two, three, four generations, but still considered "foreign"?

I don't know - all of them? Wada Akiko found the courage to recently come out and admit - deep breaths everyone - that she is Korean.

Alberto Fujimori aside, if anything, that might interrupt Japanese notions of "foreigner."

Fujimori was a national hero to the rightist, Sasakawa-thugs at the Nippon Foundation for shooting all the Tupac Amaru terrorists in the back of the head. If he had been a vaguely left-leaning ruler, they would have never feigned his "Japanese nationality" like they did. We will probably never actually know whether Fujimori was born in Japan or Peru.

Isn't the irrational loathing all gaijin feel for each other

I am not really rallying against particular foreign talent as much as the idea of foreign talent. They should really put Momus on French TV for speaking French - him being Anglo-Saxon and all.

"Hey man, have you gotten over the fact that some people without your racial complexion can speak your language?"
"No."
"It'd be a lot cooler if you did."

further variants on the dancing gaijin monkey tv show seem pretty inevitable until the national tv mentality rises above age 12. Given another decade, with the population on the slide, robots looking after everyone's grandparents, & an inevitable rise in immigration in some form, things may change.

That said, i'll have to give NHK some kudos for the 『日本、これから」show the other night. Watching that deeply ugly ass Taro Aso, squirm and leer as almost everyone from (sobbing) taiwanese students, hibakusha , WWII survivors, NPO volunteers and even (handsome- some leftist bias at work on the producers' part here) todai professors nailed his "foreign policy" against the wall over & over again, to applause.

It was an almost life-changing experience - listening to smart people express intelligent views about Japan's future on television ( i exempt Aso from that statement of course). I feel some hope for J- tv now, almost.. viva NHK...

Matt- any of that 日本、これから on YouTube?

gen- i guess your query-typing fingers are as good as mine, but anyhow, no sign of it on the 'tube. Tho one thing that is funny is the hilariously deluded clown (Aso himself?) "projectp" who has posted a bunch of clips of Aso with the description, in part "Just he is suitable to the next Japan's Prime Minister".

Taking a look at the toadyingly sucky Super J Channel clip we learn that he loves manga & Golgo 13 is his favourite...coz as we all know the best way to solve those knotty international crises is with one single, impossibly accurate assassins bullet (with a large helping of euro-titties on the side)

Ryan asked:"How many years (and how many children must they rear?) of married citizenship must someone in Japan serve before they lose the 'foreigner' tag? Or perhaps better, how many generations?"

I'd say, never. Any percentage of outsiderness prohibits being allowed on to the home team. Even 100% Japanese who merely leave Japan temporarily never regain full status once they return. They are always viewed with suspicion.

Asamu wrote:"Regardless of skin color, when you meet a fellow foreigner, isn't there something to be said for a) shared culture; and b) the common experience of being an outsider in Japan?"

as a gaijin in japan, i found myself rebelling against the concept of "shared culture" you mentioned. isn't it annoying when japanese say, "well, you're american so don't you do X or think X," based on their hollywood movie concept of american culture? To befriend other american gaijin just because they were american would seem to give in to the japanese idea that we're all alike.

So a deeper connection than merely same citizenship or both being gaijin in japan and going through similar shit was necessary for me before i associated with other gaijin in tokyo.
(in other words, I wouldn't have hung out with money chasing investment bankers in california, so i sure as hell wasn't interested in hanging out with them in tokyo. same for religious freaks, rednecks, anime nuts, san francisco giants fans, etc.). Fortunately there were plenty of japanese around with similar interests and similar outlooks that I became friends with, formed bands with, surfed with, drank with, did business with, etc.

slim: A's fan?

slim, ryan: see the "one drop" concept for an analogy on why "we" and our kids cant be considered japanese.

Just a counter theory. If you don't use a unique name or spell the name of something you are about to maket uniquely, in other words if you use a phrase or name already in use, it limits the products and tie-ins you can sell rights to and also opens the market for others to "coincidently" start using the same name.

And yet their website address is "ichiteru" - that's not even a good use of the proprietary Googlable name!